Why I Can’t Take Power Naps (and What My Evening Routine Looks Like Instead)

Do you ever take a power nap? One of those fifteen-minute snoozes that leaves you feeling completely recharged, fresh as a daisy? I ask because I really can’t do it.

Never have been able to.

Maybe you’re thinking: “What do you mean, can’t? You just lie down on the couch and close your eyes. But that’s exactly part of the problem: I can’t just “lie down and close my eyes,” no matter how tired I am. And another problem is that I can’t just wake up quickly after a short nap either.

My mother, for example, was completely different. Around seven in the evening, usually after dinner, she’d say: “I’m going to take a quick twenty-minute nap, see you in a bit.” She’d retreat to her bedroom. Twenty minutes later you’d hear her alarm go off, and a few minutes after that she’d reappear, refreshed and back to work.

Of course I’ve tried it myself too, but for me it just doesn’t work that way. To begin with, the alarm usually went off before I’d even managed to fall asleep. I simply can’t fall asleep without a ritual first.

And if I do manage to fall asleep, I also can’t just wake up right away afterward. I need time for that too.

And I need even more time to recover. After a fifteen-minute nap, I don’t feel refreshed at all—quite the opposite. If I have to function properly afterward, I’m completely out of sorts.

So I can’t fall asleep without a pre-sleep ritual, or without having been sufficiently distracted beforehand.

What I mean by that is: if I’m on a plane, I might fall asleep at an unguarded moment. But only when I’m both tired (because I had to get up very early for the flight, for example) and completely absorbed in a movie I downloaded beforehand.

But in normal daily life, with everyday concerns, I usually go through a fixed evening routine that helps me fall asleep easily and properly.

Around four or five in the late afternoon, I start to feel a bit tired. That’s when I decide to wrap up my work.

By then I’ve usually already decided what I’m going to eat, and I start looking forward to it.

Because I know that later in the evening I really won’t feel like doing it anymore—and often won’t have the energy for it either—I go ahead and get myself ready for the evening and put on my pajamas. I make myself a nice meal every day. It can be simple, modest, and inexpensive, but it’s always good. And I also enjoy a glass of wine with dinner—usually white.

While cooking, I often listen to a podcast, and I set up my laptop so I can relax with a show or movie during dinner. That way I can fully switch off from everything going on. Important—for me, at least. Because I can’t fall asleep if something is still on my mind.

If I’m still hungry after dinner, I’ll have a small snack—some yogurt, a homemade banana ice cream, or a cracker with avocado and a good French cheese. With… a glass of wine. Usually red.

I don’t know why, but red wine makes me sleepier than white wine.

And with that red wine, I like to have a big mug of golden milk.

The two—red wine and golden milk—go surprisingly well together.

I know it sounds odd, but you should try it sometime. The two—red wine and golden milk—go surprisingly well together.

Another thing that helps me drift off is making sure the room is already dark while I’m eating. I light a candle. That flickering flame in a dark room has an incredibly calming—and even sleep-inducing—effect on me.

That flickering flame in a dark room has an incredibly calming—and even sleep-inducing—effect on me.

When my wine and golden milk are finished, I’m ready for bed.

I take my phone with me and listen to a podcast as I fall asleep. Most of the time I barely register any of it. I fall asleep very quickly.

Evening wind-down

• start winding down a few hours before bed
• dim lights early
• simple meal + drink
• quiet, low-stimulation evening
• candlelight before sleep
• phone/podcast in bed

It really is strange, but since Harry’s accident, I’ve been sleeping much better and much deeper than before. I don’t really understand it, because it was a pretty serious trauma.

For the ten years before that, I usually had to get up three times a night to go to the bathroom. And most of the time I couldn’t fall back asleep afterward. I slept very little, very lightly, and toward morning I’d just get up because there was no point trying anymore. I never felt properly rested.

Since Harry’s accident, I sleep deeply and only need to get up once a night. And even then, I’m completely half-asleep when I do it. I shuffle to the bathroom and back, and then I fall right back asleep. Around four in the morning I slowly wake up feeling rested. I usually stay in bed a bit longer, slowly coming out of that deep sleep. I wait until my body has caught up with my mind. And once it has, I have no choice but to get up and go to the bathroom.

Now that I’m slowly getting over the Harry trauma and sleeping so well—especially compared to the past ten years—I’m starting to actually look forward to the day again.

I’m so glad I can finally sleep properly again.

I’m still not sure why things changed after Harry’s accident. It doesn’t really make sense to me, and maybe it doesn’t have to.

Or maybe it’s something much simpler than that:

THIS!

Do you take power naps, or are you more of a “no naps, just bedtime” kind of person? What actually helps you fall asleep when your mind is still busy? And what’s one weird or surprisingly simple thing that improves your sleep?

If this made you think of someone who struggles with sleep too, feel free to share it with them.