My Friend Keeps Finishing My Sentences — And It’s Changing Our Conversations

Have you ever had someone finish your sentences? It’s more unsettling than you think...

Yesterday I saw my friend Mina.
Mina and I originally met completely by chance on the street. She was sitting on a bench in the sun. I happened to walk past. She looked at me with a smile, I smiled back, and she made a casual remark. I can’t remember exactly what she said.

In any case, she responded to my reply, and that turned into an unexpectedly interesting conversation right there on the spot. I ended up sitting down next to her on that bench, in the sunshine.

After about an hour, I felt it was probably time to head home. I had a dog back then, and I felt he had been waiting long enough. Mina and I exchanged numbers, and we stayed in touch. That was five years ago now.

At first, we had genuinely interesting conversations. Mina and I don’t always agree on everything, but that was never really a problem. We would simply say: 

“Okay, this doesn’t seem to resonate with you.”

But over the course of those five years, something unpleasant has crept into our interaction. Mina finishes my sentences. And never in the way I intended. For example, I might start a sentence with:

“Yesterday I was just…”

And she would complete it:

“at the market.”

When what I had meant to say was:

“sick.”

At first, I simply corrected her.

“No, I was going to say ‘sick’.”

But there was no stopping it.

I explained that it only took more time if I had to keep correcting her. I also pointed out that she had never once correctly guessed how I was going to finish my sentence, hoping she might eventually realise how pointless it was.

When Mina finishes my sentences, it gives me the feeling that I’m taking too long to get to my point. So I started speaking faster, hoping to get there before she would step in again. Later, I didn’t just speak faster, but louder as well. I would simply continue talking, ignoring her when she interrupted to finish my sentence. But then it starts to feel like I’m giving a monologue instead of having a conversation.

And I’ve started to question that more and more…

Are Mina and I actually having a dialogue? 
Or have our conversations turned into two separate monologues?

On two separate occasions, she’s asked me how I was doing.  

I replied: 

“Good, I’m working on a new project that I’m completely absorbed in”.

Both times, I noticed she didn’t ask what the project was. Instead, she simply said:

“Oh, that’s nice,” 

and then immediately launched into what she had been up to.

I just let her talk. I’ve noticed my interest in what she has to say is starting to fade as well. Apparently there is something reciprocal in being interested in what the other person is saying. And maybe that’s a good thing. Because I’m hoping I’ll manage not to correct her anymore when she finishes my sentences in her own way.  I’m quite curious to see what will happen if I don’t. 

Will she even notice? 
And how will she react?

I’ll keep you posted. 😉

But seriously…

It’s quite unpleasant when someone frequently finishes your sentences. 

It makes me feel rushed, like I’m taking up too much space to say what I want to say, which then makes me feel like what I’m saying isn’t that interesting in the first place. 

Here’s a funny video showing how conversations like that tend to go!

Do you know that situation, when someone finishes your sentences? How do you experience it?
And if you recognize this habit in yourself, I’d be interested to hear your perspective.

(I’ve asked Mina as well, but she couldn’t really explain it herself.)

Photo: Lala Azizli